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And I have never heard anyone give themselves such pious, sanctimonious airs about motherhood who is anywhere near the precious, loving little saint of a mommy they’re so desperately trying to convince people they are.
Genuinely good, selfless mothers don’t talk the way you do. There are predators who do specifically target unwed mothers for especial attention because they’re looking to find someone who is emotionally vulnerable so that she’s so pre-occupied that they have easy access to kids to do what they really want to do to kids. Single moms do not need extra drama in their lives and if the man is bringing the drama and forcing her to decide “it’s either me or the kids” then she is right to deep six that guy!
Only narcissists who use their kids as a get out of jail free card for why others should put up with their lack of effort, and to promote their image of themselves as all-giving angels do that. Mothers NEED to be alert re: the man who may be a secret pedophile. My advice is that single moms should not date until their children are grown, but I realize not every feels they can do that.
So in that case, one still needs to be very, very carefully and vet that guy BEFORE he even gets to meet the kids!
For one, my child has been in my life for, let’s say, two years.
During those two years I was a single mother, or even an estranged mother. See, there is always the possibility of you dropping me for some reason or another, but that child?
But Vondie Lozano, licensed marriage and family therapist, has some other not-so-obvious flags to add to the list.
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Don’t put mothers down because you are that much of a narcissist. Take it easy here, you need to grow up and quit with the immature insults.
If the guy is reluctant or seems “too eager” to meet the kids (like on the first date), that should be a red flag.
If you are divorced I can tell you why and if you can’t find any man I can tell you why. Does this mean that your children’s’ spouses will be evil if they prefer their children over you?
I carried them in my womb, and they need someone to raise them right.
Not a woman who will go “Oh honey, mommy is so sorry your sick, but I’m still going to take you to your grandmother’s because “so-and-so” will be upset with me for ‘standing him/her up’.” If you’re so arrogant as to think that you should be more important than any child, then you really have no business dating a mother.
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You’re definitely projecting…which kinda proves MIKW’s point… Matter of fact, the only time it wouldn’t be a red flag is if it was said by some misguided man who thought women would be super duper impressed he wrote it so he could show everyone just how much he loves his kids—which is, again something we hope would be the case, lol.